If You Ask A Grown-up About A Wedding
by darkaccalia520
Summary: Written for the Writers Anonymous Alternate Format Challenge, this is the seaQuel to I Love Kristin. If you ask a grown-up about a wedding, chances are you'll find yourself more confused than ever. One-shot, post-second season AU. *COMPLETE (for now)*


**A/N: Written for the Writers Anonymous Alternate Format Challenge, this story is a seaQuel (see what I did there? ;)) to both Boomerang and I Love Kristin.**

 **For fandom blind readers, don't worry! You do not need to read the first two stories to understand this one. All you need to know is that this is an alternate universe where Kristin and Nathan are married with a son, and both season one and two characters are on the _seaQuest_. **

**For in-fandom readers, if you haven't read the first two stories, I strongly encourage you to do so. You probably won't have a problem understanding this if you opt not to, but you may find yourself wondering just how the characters got from there to here. Also, for this story, I am altering two major canon events: Hyperion and season 3. I kindly ask you to pretend they never occurred. Normally, I don't like to go that route, but that means everyone lives and stays together, so hopefully, you won't mind.**

 **Setup for the story is that this is set five years after the events of I Love Kristin, so the year would be 2027. The alternate format chosen is the Rashomon effect. The rest should be self-explanatory.**

 **In case you're wondering, inspiration for the title and introduction comes from the _If You Give..._ children's book series by Laura Joffe Numeroff.**

 **Also, a huge thank you to ReadingBlueWolf for beta, brainstorming, and sounding board help.**

 ** **Disclaimer: SeaQuest DSV and its characters are not my creation. They are the creation of Rockne S. O'Bannon as a 1990's television series. This work of fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only and is not for financial gain. I am just borrowing the characters for a bit and promise to return them unharmed and in their original condition, maybe just a bit happier.** **

**If You Ask A Grown-up About A Wedding**

If you ask a grown-up about a wedding, she's going to ask you why. When you give her the answer, she'll probably tell you an exciting story filled with fun and adventure. When she's finished, she'll kiss you on the cheek, give you a big hug, and send you on your way.

If you ask another grown-up about the same wedding, he'll do the same as the first. His story will be just as exciting and fun, but you'll probably notice it's not like the other one. In fact, it will sound like a completely different story.

In the middle of the story, you'll wonder if it's the same story. You'll probably ask about it.

He'll assure you it is the very same, and you'll tell him to continue. You don't want to distract him any more than necessary. Grown-ups are forgetful as it is.

He'll continue the story, and when he's finished, he'll pat you on the head and send you on your way.

You'll nod and run along, only playing is not in the plans today. You'll scratch your head and think. _One wedding, two stories. Which one is the true one?_

After thinking, you'll probably decide to ask another grown-up and hear _another_ very different story.

The only problem is you'll find yourself more confused than ever.

That is exactly what happened to Miles Bridger, and it all started just before his birthday...

 ** _seaQuest,_ 2027**

"It's the day before my birthday!" Miles announced as he ran into his parents' bedroom and jumped up on the bed where they were both still fast asleep. "Come on, you two. Get up!"

Nathan groaned. "Apparently, he's forgotten that we like to sleep in on our days off."

Kristin yawned and patted his chest. "We have a four-year-old. There _is_ no sleeping in."

Miles squeezed in between the two of them. "I'm almost five, remember?" He held up his stuffed brown dog, whose fur was wearing thin. "And so is Bruno."

"How could we forget?" Nathan asked, sitting up and scrubbing a hand across his face. "You've been telling us every day for a month."

"Well, I just want to be _sure_ you won't forget," Miles explained. "A kid and his dog only turn five once, and I want this birthday to be one we _never_ forget."

"I'm sure you won't," Kristin said as she pulled Miles into her arms. "Did you sleep well?"

"Uh-huh."

"At least someone did," Nathan muttered.

Kristin swatted his arm playfully and turned back to Miles. "What Daddy means is he just needs a little time to wake up. Why don't you give us time to get ready? Then we'll all go to the mess and have breakfast. In the meantime, why don't you think about what you want for your birthday? You still haven't told us."

"That's because it's so hard. A kid and his dog-"

"Only turn five once, we know," Kristin said, placing a kiss to his forehead. "Once we get settled on the island this afternoon, your father and I are going shopping for your present; if you don't give us any ideas, we may get you something you don't really like."

"All right, me and Bruno will talk it over. See you in a little while." And with that, Miles grabbed Bruno and ran into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

He set Bruno down on his bed. "Now, this is very serious," he told him. "We really need to figure out what we want for our birthday." He looked around his room, tapping his chin with finger, when he noticed his action figure collection. "Well, we could ask for a new Power Pal. We don't have Captain Vortex yet."

After a moment, he nodded. "You're right, though, Bruno. That doesn't seem special enough for this birthday." He looked around some more and spied his Lego castle. "Well, we could ask for some more Legos...but that doesn't seem special enough either..." He sighed and flopped down on his bed and hugged Bruno tightly. "There's really only _one_ thing we want, but I'm not sure Mom and Dad will agree to it..."

He then rolled onto his tummy and cradled his chin in his hand, glancing towards Bruno. "You really think we should draw _another_ puppy picture? We've only drawn about a hundred already, and they haven't gotten the hint."

"Okay, you win. We'll draw _one_ more." Miles grabbed his crayons and went into the living room in search of paper. "I hope you're right about this."

The ream of paper was on a shelf just above the computer desk. Miles grabbed a stool and reached for the paper when something caught his eye: his parents' wedding photo. He'd seen it many times before, but this time, he saw something odd in the bottom corner. It looked like an elephant's foot. And where there was an elephant's foot, the rest of the elephant was usually attached to it.

He looked closer. Was that a trunk? He needed a second opinion.

He took it off the shelf and held it up so Bruno could see. "What does that look like to you, Bruno?"

"That's what I see, too," Miles said with a nod. "Now why do you suppose there was an elephant at their wedding, how did they get it on the island, and why in the _heck_ did they never tell me about this?"

 _ _-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-__

As Nathan brushed his teeth, he couldn't help but notice Kristin staring at him intently, her arms crossed over her chest. That meant one of two things; either she was angry with him or she wanted something. As he finished up and placed his toothbrush back in its holder, he met her gaze. "Something wrong?"

"You know full well what he wants for his birthday," she said.

A brow rose. "I do?"

She sighed. "Of course, haven't you gotten his hints?" She picked up a drawing Miles had given him yesterday and handed it to him.

Nathan examined it carefully. It was a picture of him and Miles holding hands. Under Miles' arms was Bruno and there was some other animal standing next to him. Admittedly, he hadn't noticed it before. He pointed to the mystery creature. "Is that Darwin?"

She shook her head and grabbed several other drawings from the stack on her dresser. "Do you see any fins? And since when does Darwin have floppy ears?" She passed the stack to him. "He wants a puppy."

Nathan saw the same mystery animal in each drawing, but he still wasn't sold. "He already has Bruno. Besides, a puppy on a submarine? Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"Not at all," she replied. "Bruno won't last forever."

Bruno was a present from Bill and Janet the day Miles was born. As Miles grew older, it became apparent that Bruno was a favorite toy, as the two were inseparable. On Miles' first birthday, Bill had given Nathan some expert fatherly advice...

" _I don't think Bruno will last to his second if he keeps that up," Bill said, nodding his head towards Miles. Miles was in his high chair, clutching Bruno to his chest, and both baby and dog were covered in cake and icing from head to toe._

 _Nathan waved a hand. "After a washing, he'll be just fine."_

" _Robert never had a favorite toy when he was little?" Bill asked._

" _Well, sure, he had a teddy bear."_

" _Do you remember what it was like when that teddy bear couldn't be patched anymore?"_

 _Nathan frowned. "Yeah, he was around six; he spent many nights crying about it."_

 _"Exactly," Bill replied. "We learned the hard way with Ginny and her favorite doll, but by the time Bill Jr. came along, we had a solution." He handed Nathan a large present. "This is for Miles, of course, but it's also for you and Kristin. I think you'll find it saves you two in the end."_

 _Inside that box were several Brunos, all of which were exact copies of the original._

" _I can't take all the credit," Bill explained. "It was Janet's idea. You see, Bill Jr. had a favorite yellow blanket with a line of satin around the edge. When Janet noticed how much he adored it, she went out and bought about a dozen more. I'd told her she was crazy at the time, but I had to eat my words when that kid managed to destroy every last one of those blankets." He nodded his head towards Miles again. "Trust me, you'll need all those. That boy will put that toy through hell. Mark my words."_

Nathan had been a little skeptical they'd need every one, but as Bill had predicted, Bruno number one didn't last very long after that first birthday. Neither did Brunos two or three. Miles was currently carrying around Bruno number four, and while he seemed fine now, the poor thing had never recovered from the time Miles stuck gum in his fur for safe-keeping.

It was inevitable that Bruno number five would make an appearance shortly, and there weren't many left after that. Nathan knew it was just a matter of time before they'd have to sit Miles down and have that ever-important talk about leaving childhood playthings behind. So maybe a pet was a good idea, but a puppy? Kristin had to be out of her mind. Their almost five-year-old woke them up before zero seven hundred hours all the time. Didn't she know a puppy would allow them even _less_ sleep? He shook his head. "He's got Darwin."

Kristin sighed. "How many times have you said Darwin's not a pet, he's family? Besides, it's a little difficult to cuddle with a dolphin. Miles wants a puppy, and I think we should get him one."

"It'll whine all the time. You think we don't get much sleep now? Just wait."

"Only in the beginning. We can wear ear plugs until it gets used to a kennel. It won't take long."

Nathan frowned. "You're not going to stop until I give in, are you?"

"Not a chance," she said. "And I'm not talking Great Dane proportions here. I'm thinking a small terrier should be just fine. Training won't be all that difficult, and Miles will help. He's very responsible for his age, you know."

"I'm not denying that, but it doesn't really matter what _I_ say. You may have a little difficulty convincing the secretary general that a puppy won't disrupt normal duties around here."

She shrugged. "Bill never says no to me, you know that. And he never says no to Miles either."

"Yeah," he replied with a nod, "though I do wonder _when_ that all changed. I remember the days when you two couldn't stand one another."

"So do I, but that all changed when he realized _I_ keep you in check for him. I'll talk to him this afternoon. Everything will be fine, you'll see," she told him as she started out of the room.

"And just how do you plan to get this little yapper without Miles seeing it before his birthday?"

She turned back to him, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I've got that all planned. As soon as we get to the island, you and I will steal away to the mainland. We should be able to make arrangements with the owner to hold him until the party." She paused and eyed him carefully. "You still think it's a bad idea?"

He sighed. "Well... I suppose not, though I don't know how I let you talk me into these things. It's going to be chaos here for a while, you know that?"

"And that's different than any other day?" she asked with a grin. "Hurry up now, sailor."

"Yeah, yeah. You're going to be the death of me, you know," he called after her.

"But you love it," she replied, shutting the door behind her.

 _ _-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-__

When Kristin walked into the living room, she found Miles whispering to Bruno. She smiled softly, almost sorry to interrupt him. "Still deciding?" she asked, running a hand through his hair.

Miles looked up at her. "No, we figured it out, but Bruno's got an idea."

"Oh?" She moved to sit on the sofa and patted the seat next to her. "And what's that?"

Miles made no attempt to move, though. "Well... Bruno thought we should draw a picture of the present I want, so I came in to get some paper, but when I was doing that, I saw something in your wedding photo." He took it off the shelf and showed her. "Why didn't you tell me there was an elephant at your wedding?"

She raised an eyebrow. "How did you know that?"

"Right there." He pointed to the corner of the photo. "That's an elephant foot, isn't it?"

She nodded. "I didn't realize it ended up in the photo, though; I'd never noticed it before. It was supposed to have been taken away. I should have known better than to..." She sighed. "It's a long story."

"Well, that's part of what I wanted for my birthday...the story, I mean. Bruno was hoping I could have two things, if that's okay."

Kristin crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, _Bruno_ was hoping, hm?"

"Well, me too, I guess. I'd really like a puppy...a real one. I know I have Bruno, but..." Miles lowered his voice. "He's getting older, and he might not be around forever. Besides, Bruno says he'd like a real dog to play with. Can I have a puppy, please?"

"We'll see. It's not your birthday yet, and I'm certainly not going to say what we're getting you." She paused and put an arm around his shoulders. "So you want a puppy _and_ a story?"

Miles nodded. "I mean, I've already heard the story about how I was born lots of times. And you and Dad have told me lots of stories about the boat and the crew. But I've never heard about the wedding. Please?" He put on a pout and leaned his head against her arm, looking up at her with desperate eyes.

"You know I can't resist you when you look at me like that," she told him. "I suppose you want this part of your present now, hm?"

Miles nodded. "Please?"

"You drive a hard bargain, you know that?" she said, giving him a wink. "But are you _sure_ you want to hear about it? Wouldn't you find it a little boring?"

"Any story with an elephant in it _can't_ be boring. Yes, I'm potisive I want to hear it."

"That's _positive_ , dear," she said with a laugh.

"That's what I said. Start from the beginning; don't leave anything out, okay?"

At that moment, Nathan walked into the room. "Are you two going to sit around all day, or are we going to go eat?"

"Aww, but Mom was just about to explain why there was an elephant at your wedding. Maybe you can get us breakfast and bring it back for us, Dad? I promise I'll be quiet the rest of the day so you can have a long nap."

"That's a good idea," Kristin replied, looking back at Nathan. "Please? He's dead-set on hearing the story now. Would you mind? You know what we like."

Nathan shrugged. "I guess not." He leaned in close and lowered his voice so only Kristin could hear him. "As long as you promise to come _nap_ with me later."

"I'll see what I can do, sailor," she whispered back, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you for doing this."

Nathan started towards the door. "You're welcome. I've been meaning to have a one on one talk with Lucas anyway, so I suppose now's a good time. See you in a little while."

"See ya, Dad," Miles called before turning back to Kristin. "So the wedding..."

She picked up the photo. "Well, I didn't think your father and I were _ever_ going to get married."

"Why not? Didn't you love each other?"

"Of course we did, but there never seemed to be any time. We were always working...and then we found out about you. We had wanted to get married before you arrived, but then you showed up early..."

Miles grinned. "I still do that, don't I?"

"That, you do," she said with a laugh. "After you got here... Well, you know I was very sick."

"Dad told me you almost died," Miles said quietly, laying his head against her arm.

She nodded. "But as you know, everything turned out just fine. I was lucky. Anyway, your father and I knew we couldn't keep putting our wedding off. When you were two months old, we all took a weekend off and went to the island-"

"And you got an elephant," Miles said with a giggle.

Kristin shot him a look. "Are you going to listen, or are you going to keep talking about that elephant?"

"Sorry, I'll be good. Does the elephant show up in the story soon?"

"Just listen. Well, on our wedding day, Cynthia and your aunts Janet, Wendy, Katie were with me in the guest room getting ready for the ceremony..."

 _ _-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-__

 **Bridger Island, 2022**

" _Ugh, Nathan and I should have just gone to Vegas instead," Kristin muttered as she stood before the full length mirror, adjusting her dress._

" _You know you don't mean that," Janet replied, coming up from behind her. "This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Don't you want your friends and family to share that with you?"_

" _Of course I do, and I'm sorry if I sound less than grateful, but I-"_

 _At that moment, Miles cried out from his bassinet in the corner of the room._

 _Kristin sighed and moved to pick him up . "Shh, Mummy's here," she whispered before turning back to Janet. "It had to have been my hormones talking when I decided to have a wedding at the same time I was dealing with a newborn. I'm exhausted, I'm cranky, and I feel like I'm going to fall apart at any moment. I just want this day to be over so I can sleep."_

" _Sounds like a wild wedding night," Cynthia said, rolling her eyes._

 _Kristin swallowed a nasty retort. She knew her daughter was only joking, but she was in no mood for jokes. "I'm just overwhelmed. I didn't know it was going to be quite so difficult to keep it all together. I'm a doctor, for goodness sake. I'm used to working well under pressure, but when it comes to my own life, I crack at the slightest upset."_

" _Doc, you're being much too hard on yourself," Katie said just as she finished applying lipstick. "If this is what you look like when you're about to fall apart, you've got nothing to worry about."_

" _She's right," Wendy added. "We see you every day; we've seen you at your best and at your worst, and vice versa. You don't have to worry about impressing us. We just want to share this day with you."_

" _See?" Janet said. "You're making a mountain out of a molehill, sweetie. You know full well why you and Nathan decided to get married now. This wedding should have happened ages ago, and you can't deny it. What could go wrong? Everything's handled; everyone's here. As soon as you're ready, we can get this show on the road. Then after the ceremony, we celebrate. Everything will be fine, you'll see." She held out her arms. "Why don't you let me take him so Wendy can help you with your hair?"_

" _But Miles-"_

" _Will be fine," Janet finished for her. "You can't walk down the aisle holding the baby anyway." She turned to Katie. "Wasn't Ben supposed to take him so we could finish up?"_

" _Yeah, but I don't know where he is. I should go see what's keeping him. I won't be long."_

 _Kristin felt near tears, but she nodded, handing the baby over to Janet. She really wasn't sure why she was so upset about someone taking Miles off her hands for a little while. The only thing she could chalk it up to was that she was desperately sleep deprived. In the end, she knew she was being irrational, though. "You're right. I suppose you think I'm being silly."_

" _Of course not. You're just a new mother. Every mother is protective of her baby in the beginning," Wendy said, brushing through Kristin's hair. "Did you want to put it up or leave it down?"_

" _I honestly don't care. Whatever you think. And I suppose you're right, though I don't remember being quite as bad with Cynthia," Kristin said with a sigh._

" _It's because you know he's your last," Janet replied, gently rocking Miles. "And see, he's back to sleep."_

" _Yes, well, he sleeps wonderfully during the day. The night, however..."_

" _Bill and I will tend to him while we're here so you and Nathan can sleep...or **not** sleep. It is your wedding night, after all," Janet said. "Part of your wedding present."_

 _Kristin forced a laugh. "I appreciate it, but trust me, that is the furthest thing from my mind."_

" _You might feel differently when all is said and done."_

" _I don't-"_

 _Just then, the door opened, and Katie and Ben walked in._

" _The cavalry's here," Ben said, taking Miles from Janet. "Sorry I'm a little late. We had a slight upset in the men's side of the house."_

 _Kristin's brow furrowed. "Upset? What kind of upset?"_

" _Well, I, uh... I kind of misplaced the rings for a bit." He held up a hand. "Don't worry, though. I found them again. I'm not the best man for nothing. I always come through in the end."_

" _Just don't lose the baby," Katie warned._

" _Come on, Katie, have a little faith in me. I think it'd be awfully hard to lose him. I promise he's in safe hands, Doc. Don't worry about a thing." He paused. "Oh, and by the way, the doves should be here shortly."_

" _Doves?" Cynthia repeated, turning to her mother. "You got doves?"_

" _I most certainly did **not** get doves. Ben, I told you I wasn't interested. This is going to be a simple wedding, and you promised to leave your scheming out of it."_

 _Katie held up her hands. "I swear I didn't know about any of this." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Ben. "You were supposed to cancel those things ages ago."_

" _Ah, yeah, I know, but my dove guy-"_

" _You have a dove guy?" Wendy asked._

" _I've got a guy for everything," Ben replied proudly. "I wasn't supply and morale officer for nothing, you know."_

" _And old habits apparently die hard," Katie said flatly. "You can take the guy off the submarine, but you can't take the guy away from 'his guys'."_

 _Ben simply shrugged and continued, "Anyway, I ordered them before I even asked you, but it was a deal I couldn't refuse. I didn't know all sales were final, and I don't exactly have another occasion lined up that calls for doves."_

 _Kristin pinched the bridge of her nose. She really didn't want to yell at Ben, especially since he was holding her sleeping child. "All right, fine. I really don't need to hear anymore. Just make sure those doves don't decide to drop any **presents** on our guests, if you catch my drift."_

" _Got it, Doc. You can count on me. I'll leave you to finish getting ready. By the way, you look gorgeous," he said as he started out the door._

" _Thank you, but flattery won't get you off the hook if you ruin anything. Just remember that," she called after him._

" _I hear you loud and clear," Ben said, leaving the room with Miles in tow._

 _ _-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-__

 ** _seaQuest_ , 2027**

"Why were you so worried?" Miles asked, picking up the photo again. "Everyone looks so happy here, even me."

Kristin shrugged. "Well, lots of reasons. And when a person is running low on sleep, the slightest upset seems like a disaster. Besides things got worse."

"How's that?"

"Well, Uncle Ben lost you."

"He _lost_ me?" Miles said. "How did he do that?"

"Being Uncle Ben, how else?" Kristin replied. "You know I love him, but he is a bit of a troublemaker...and doubly so that day. You see, everyone had taken their places, and Uncle Bill was just about to walk me down the aisle when..."

 _ _-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-__

 **Bridger Island, 2022**

" _Well, this is it," Bill whispered._

 _Kristin nodded quietly, but something seemed off. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, however. She looked towards the altar where Nathan and the others waited. She checked them all off in her mind, and she finally realized the problem. "Where's Miles?"_

" _What?"_

" _Where's Miles?" she repeated. "Ben is supposed to be holding Miles."_

 _Bill shrugged. "Maybe he got fussy and Lonnie has him? I'm sure he's fine." As the guests stood and all eyes were on them, he gently tugged on her arm. "We really have to go now. You can ask when we get up there."_

 _She gave him a weak smile. "I'm sure you're right."_

 _As they began their journey down the aisle, she felt her stomach flip, and it wasn't due to the fact she was nervous about taking her vows. It was the fact she didn't see her son anywhere. Lonnie was sitting in the second row, but Miles wasn't with her. She quickly scanned the crowd. No Miles. She suddenly became panicked._

 _As Bill gave her away and moved to officiate, she looked over her shoulder at Ben and whispered, "Where's Miles?"_

 _Ben smiled and nodded as if he didn't hear her._

" _Friends, family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Kristin and Nathan..." Bill began._

 _Only Kristin wasn't willing to wait until after the ceremony to find out where her baby was. A thousand horrible images concerning her son raced through her mind. She looked at Ben again. " **Where** is Miles?" she said, this time loud enough so that Bill stopped talking. _

" _Oh, um...he's around," Ben replied, though Kristin couldn't help but note the dots of perspiration forming on his forehead._

 _At this point, all eyes were on Ben and her. Kristin glanced to the crowd. "Um, sorry, ladies and gentlemen, this won't take long. Perhaps a brief intermission?" she said as she turned back to Ben, lowering her voice "I'm going to ask you again, and you better give me a straight answer. Where is my son?"_

 _Ben laughed nervously. "Well, you see... Y-you're going to laugh about this, but you know those doves I ordered..."_

 _At that moment, Kristin heard a strange trumpeting sound. "That sounds like..."_

" _Yeah, about that. Uh, well..." He motioned for Kristin to turn around._

 _She shut her eyes tightly and braced herself. When she finally risked a peek, she saw an elephant standing near the dock. "I...I don't believe..."_

" _Ben, how in the_ _ **hell**_ _did you get an elephant on my island?" Nathan demanded. "And_ _ **where**_ _is my son?"_

 _Ben held up his hands. "All right, all right. I thought it could wait until after the ceremony, but I've run into a few snags." He glanced back towards Kristin and laughed nervously. "I...I promise, someday, you're going to look back on this and laugh..."_

 _Kristin shot him a death-glare in response._

" _Right, well... You see, I didn't quite read the fine print on the contract, so I apparently didn't just order doves. I also ordered that elephant. She's trained, and her name is Mrs. Jumbo...you know, like Dumbo's mother. Well, like the fictional Mrs. Jumbo,_ _ **this**_ _Mrs. Jumbo is very protective of her young. In fact, our Mrs. Jumbo recently became separated from her own child."_

" _And just **what** does any of that have to do with Miles?" Kristin asked. _

_Ben ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I'm getting to that. You see, when I was on the phone with Marty trying to figure out this whole mess, I put Miles in his carrier and set it down on the ground. He'd just had a bottle and a fresh diaper, so he was perfectly fine. I didn't notice that Mrs. Jumbo picked up the carrier with her trunk."_

" _Wait, you saw the elephant picking Miles up, and you didn't think to alert anyone or ask for help?" Katie yelled. "I've seen you do a lot of stupid things over the years, but this has to be the stupidest."_

" _Hey, give me a little credit," Ben replied. "I was going to come get you guys, but the kangaroo had taken my cellphone, so I-"_

" _Kangaroo?" Nathan said. "Did...did you just say there's a kangaroo? Just how many creatures did you bring to this wedding?"_

 _Ben held up a hand. "I promise, just the doves, the elephant and the kangaroo. Anyway, Kanga the kangaroo is a trickster, hence her taking off with my phone. I tried chasing her, but she hopped off into the jungle. Anyway-"_

" _I don't care about any of that!" Kristin screamed. "I want to know where my son is this very instant!"_

 _Ben pointed. "Mrs. Jumbo's **protecting** him."_

 _Kristin looked towards the elephant again; this time, it moved enough so that she could see Miles' carrier sitting on the dock behind her._

" _I made sure a trainer was on its way before Kanga stole my phone," Ben continued, nodding towards Miles. "The good news is he's sleeping soundly. He doesn't even know there's a problem."_

 _Kristin only half-paid attention to what Ben was saying and was about to make her way down the beach towards Miles when Nathan caught her arm._

" _You can't go down there, Kris. You heard what Ben said; she won't let anyone near him."_

" _But...but Miles..." she said softly as tears began to sting her eyes. "I just want my baby."_

 _Nathan pulled her into his arms. "I know, sweetheart, I know, but...I'm sure everything's going to be fine." He motioned for Janet to come over. "Why don't you let Janet take you inside while Ben and I see what we can do about this situation?"_

 _Ben nodded. "Marty had said the trainer was leaving ASAP. The launch should be here shortly."_

" _All...all right," Kristin said through her tears as Janet replaced Nathan and led her inside._

 _ _-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-__

 ** _seaQuest_ , 2027**

"What happened next?" Miles pressed. "How did they get me away from the elephant?"

Kristin shrugged. "Believe it or not, I don't know. I was honestly too upset to watch. All I know is the trainer was able to subdue the elephant and round up the kangaroo. We were so grateful for his help that we invited him to stay for the wedding."

"So after all that, you and Daddy _finally_ got married?"

"We did, indeed. Once it finally began, the ceremony was lovely. That was until the doves..."

Miles' brow furrowed. "What happened with the doves?"

"They turned out not to be doves after all; they were sandgrouses, which are birds that _look_ like doves. Unfortunately, your uncle didn't know that," she said with a sigh. "Well, at the end of the ceremony, Uncle Ben released them, confirming my fears. They decided to give us a present, too...only not the kind we wanted."

"Wait, do you mean bird poop?"

"Yes, dear, bird poop," Kristin replied. "They say that it's good luck if a bird poops on you, but I certainly didn't feel very lucky at the time. At least it cleaned up easy enough."

Miles giggled. "You and Dad sure had a crazy wedding."

"We certainly did, but it was all worth it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." She put an arm around him and pulled him close. "Was that story a good present for you then?"

"It sure was. I still can't believe you had an elephant, a kangaroo, _and_ a bunch of sandgrouses at your wedding. I think I'm going to have to draw a picture of that."

Kristin laughed and kissed his cheek. "I'd love to see it."

"I'm going to do it right now!" Miles said, getting out his crayons.

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 **Bridger Island, 2027**

"My birthday's tomorrow, my birthday's tomorrow!" Miles sang as he Nathan helped him out of the launch.

"After tomorrow, you're going to have to think of something else to sing about," Nathan told him.

Miles shrugged. "Don't worry, Daddy, I've got _lots_ of ideas for songs. I could sing about your birthday or Mommy's birthday or Lucas' birthday or-"

"It's about time you got here," Ben called from the patio. "We've been waiting all day."

"Uncle Ben!" Miles shouted as he ran towards him.

"When did you get here?" Kristin asked. "And where's that daughter of yours?"

"We got here earlier. We wanted to surprise you."

Miles tugged at his pants. "Uncle Ben, Uncle Ben, Uncle Ben..."

Ben picked him up and gave him a hug. "Hey there, kid, I hear _someone's_ turning five."

Miles giggled. "I am, and so is Bruno."

"Well, it's a good thing we brought _two_ presents then, one for each of you," Ben said as he held up a finger, "but you can't have them until tomorrow."

"That's okay, I can wait. I'm super patience."

"I think you mean patient, kid."

"That's what I said."

"Well, Aunt Katie's in the house with Isla. I know they can't wait to see you," Ben said as he set Miles down. "Tell her I'll be in in a minute."

"Okay!" Miles said as he dashed into the house.

"You know that key under the doormat is _just_ for emergencies," Nathan said as he secured the launch.

Ben shrugged. "I know, but I didn't think you'd mind it. Besides, the secretary general got here first. We've just been waiting on you. Where's everyone else?"

"They're on their way," Kristin replied as she moved to hug him. "Oh, but we've missed you. How's being a daddy treating you?"

Ben grinned. "It's great. I couldn't be happier, and believe it or not, having Isla has made me more responsible." He held up a hand. "I promise I have turned from my scheming ways."

Nathan's brow rose. "Really? You mean you haven't planned some sort of crazy surprise? No elephants showing up this time?"

"I swear to you, I haven't planned anything of the sort. I'm a changed man."

"If I'd have known a baby was going to make you more responsible, I'd have begged Katie to remarry you ages ago," Nathan said with a wink.

Kristin laughed. "Well, why don't we go inside and see that little miracle worker baby then, hm?"

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Though Miles was excited that everyone was there for his party, he was bored as he listened to the grown-ups talk. His parents had gone to the mainland to shop for his present, and he was trying to be good and not make a fuss. He sat on the floor with his crayons and paper, drawing away, but he was getting bored with that too.

He glanced over to Lucas. Maybe he could get him to go outside and play. He was just about to ask when Isla started fussing.

Uncle Ben picked her up. "I think someone needs a diaper change and a nap. Excuse me, guys."

Miles saw that as his opportunity for some excitement. Spending time with him was always a lot of fun. "Can I help you, Uncle Ben?"

"Sure, kid. Come on."

As they entered the guest room at the top of the stairs, Ben nodded towards Isla's diaper bag. "It would be a huge help if you could get me a fresh diaper and the baby wipes."

Miles handed them over. "Guess what I found out today? Mommy told me how you brought an elephant, a kangaroo, and a bunch of sandgrouses to their wedding. She told me how you lost me, too."

"What?" He shook his head. "I don't know what fairy tales your mom is telling you, but that's not true."

"It isn't? But me and Bruno saw the elephant in the wedding photo with our very own eyes. That's gotta be real, right?"

"Well, the elephant's real, but the rest? No way. Do you want to hear the _real_ story?"

Miles nodded. "Bruno and me were hoping you'd ask. Yes, we wanna know."

"Well, I was doing my best to make sure everything was perfect for your mother., but she was... Do you know what a bridezilla is?"

Miles thought for a minute. "I think I watched that movie with Lucas. There was this big dinosaur guy, and he was fighting this big ape guy."

Ben laughed softly as he placed Isla in her bassinet. "No, you're thinking of _Godzilla_. A _bridezilla_ is a woman on her wedding day who acts like a monster."

Miles' quirked an eyebrow at him. "Are you saying Mommy was acting like a monster?" He shook his head. "I've seen her pretty mad a few times, but I've never seen her act like a monster."

"A bride is a different _type_ of monster. After the wedding is over, she goes back to normal." He paused and led him towards the door. "Why don't we go into your bedroom so Isla can sleep, and I'll tell you all about it?"

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 **Bridger Island, 2022**

 _Ben knocked on the door of the guest room and poked his head inside. "The cavalry's here! Sorry I'm a little late. I was making sure all the flowers were perfectly arranged."_

 _Kristin crossed her arms over her chest and nodded towards Miles. "It's about time! He's been crying his head off, and we can't make ourselves look gorgeous **and** tend to him at the same time." She passed Miles over to him. "Did you call the caterer to make sure they were on their way?"_

 _Ben gave her a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am, the caterer should be here within the hour. And the doves and elephant are on their way as well."_

 _Kristin's eyes flashed with fury. "What? I **told** you to cancel those last week and to get me a horse-drawn carriage instead! And now you're telling me you didn't get me my horses? How could you do this this to me? This is my wedding day and you were supposed to make sure everything was perfect!" _

" _I-I tried to cancel the elephant and get the carriage instead, but...but all sales were final. I really couldn't change it last minute. Besides, just yesterday, you were saying how fun it would be to ride down the aisle on an elephant."_

" _ **That** was yesterday. You should have known I was going to change my mind. I'm the bride, for goodness sake! I want what I want when I want it." She stomped over to her purse and took out her phone. "But I should have known better than to trust an idiot to handle such a simple request. It's apparent that if I want something done, I'm going to have to do it myself. And if you think-"_

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 **Bridger Island, 2027**

"Wait, wait, wait," Miles interrupted. "You're saying Mommy _asked_ for the animals?" He shook his head. "She told me she didn't want any of that stuff"

"Would I lie to you?" Ben sighed. "Maybe she says that now, but back then, it was the bridezilla in her talking. She was a different woman that day."

"Whatever," Miles said with a shrug. "Then what happened?"

"I took you outside with me to greet our elephant friend.

Miles waved a hand. "Oh, Mom told me about that part...how the elephant took my carrier away."

Ben shook his head. "Like I said, your mother told you a fairy tale. What really happened was I took you outside to meet Mrs. Jumbo, and you loved her. She was a gentle giant, and she was merely smelling you with her trunk when your mother came outside. She thought she was trying to hurt you and started yelling at her."

"Really?" Miles said. "That doesn't seem like something Mom would do. She loves animals. Are you _sure_ you're talking about the right wedding?"

"I'm positive. So after your mom came outside..."

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 **Bridger Island, 2022**

" _Ben, get that monster away from my baby!" Kristin cried as she stomped towards them._

" _Monster? Doc, she's not a monster; she's one of nature's gentle creatures." Ben noticed Mrs. Jumbo was getting agitated. "And you really should calm down before you come any closer. She might-"_

 _By that time, everyone in he house had heard the commotion, so they joined them on the beach...just in time to see Mrs. Jumbo charge at Kristin._

 _Kristin turned to run towards Nathan. "Someone has to do something. That monster has our baby!"_

 _Ben instinctively backed away as well, and he watched as Mrs. Jumbo lifted Miles' carrier with her trunk and began carrying it away._

 _By this time, Kristin was even more hysterical. "My baby! Someone, save my baby!"_

 _Ben knew it was up to him. He wasn't the best man for nothing. "Don't worry, Doc, I'll save him!" he cried, and he carefully approached Mrs. Jumbo._

 _He held up his hands. "I'm not going to hurt you, I swear it. We just want our baby back. Everything's going to be okay." He tentatively moved closer as he kept repeating, "It'll be okay."_

 _Eventually, Mrs. Jumbo seemed to relax, and Ben was able to get to Miles without any trouble. He picked him up and started towards the others. "See, what'd I tell you?"_

 _Kristin ran to hug him before taking Miles into her arms. "Oh, Ben, you're a hero."_

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 **Bridger Island, 2027**

"After that the rest of the wedding was perfect, all thanks to me," Ben said with a grin.

"Except...what about the kangaroo and the sandgrouses?" Miles asked.

Ben shrugged. "It wasn't a kangaroo, it was a zebra, and I assure you, the birds were indeed doves. It's just that they were grey instead of white, so your mother got confused. Maybe they did looked a little like sandgrouses, but they weren't."

"Oh, okay. Does being a bridezilla make you confused too?"

"Kind of. It makes you see things one way when they're really going another. You probably don't want to mention that to your mom, though. She might get upset if you bring it up. Understand?"

Miles nodded. "I promise I won't ask her about it. At least I know the real story now. Thanks, Uncle Ben."

"Anytime, kid, anytime."

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As Miles made his way down the stairs, however, he started to think about what Uncle Ben had just told him and shook his head. Compared to the story he heard earlier, it didn't make any sense. "Who do you suppose is telling the truth, Bruno?"

"Yeah, I don't know either," he said with a sigh. "I suppose we could ask someone else..."

"Ask someone else what?" Lucas said as he met Miles on the stairs.

"It's a long story," Miles said, heaving another sigh. "Do you have time?"

"I've always got time for you, kiddo. I was looking for you anyway. I was just about to go outside and see Darwin. Why don't you come out with me, and you can tell me all about it?"

"Okay," Miles said as he took Lucas' hand. "You know, Bruno said he was going to suggest we talk to you anyway."

"Yeah, well, I'd say Bruno's pretty smart," Lucas said with a laugh.

They walked down the beach to the dock, and sure enough, Darwin was there. As soon as he saw the two of them, he swam closer.

"Hey, Dar, have you come to wish Miles a happy birthday?" Lucas asked.

Darwin clicked and squeaked in response.

"Thanks, Darwin," Miles said with a laugh as Lucas helped him lean over to pet the dolphin.

Lucas then helped him sit back down on the dock. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Miles took a deep breath. "Well, I wanted Mommy to tell me why there was an elephant at their wedding; she told me about the elephant, the kangaroo, the sandgrouses, and how Uncle Ben lost me. I couldn't wait to ask Uncle Ben about it all, but when I did, he...he told me something different."

Lucas' eyebrows knitted together. "Well, what did he say?"

"He said Mommy was being Godzilla and that she really wanted all the animals there, that it was her fault the elephant took me because she was yelling at it, and that it was Uncle Ben who saved the day. Oh, and he told me there was no kangaroo there, but there was a zebra." Miles shook his head. "I'm so confused, Lucas. I'd ask Mommy when she gets back, but Uncle Ben told me I shouldn't because it might upset her to know she remembered things wrong. She'll probably turn into Godzilla again, and I don't want that. Do you know which story is the right one?"

Lucas smiled. "Yeah, I do, and I'll be glad to clear it up, but first, I promise you your mom won't turn into Godzilla. I think Uncle Ben might have said bridezilla?"

"Yeah, that's what I said. So which story is true?"

"Believe it or not, they both are...to a point. Uncle Ben really did cause a lot of chaos that day. It was _his_ idea to get the doves, which might have been sandgrouses... Honestly, I can't be sure of that. Uncle Ben and your mom still debate about that to this very day." He shrugged. "But he only got those doves because your mom said she liked the thought of people releasing doves at weddings. So he was really just trying to make your mom happy, even though she technically never asked for them."

"Oh..." Miles scratched his head. "So they were both telling the truth about that? Well, what about the elephant? Did Mommy _really_ yell at it?"

"Let's put it this way. Just think about what you'd do if someone...or _something_...took Bruno from you. And you didn't know if this something was going to hurt Bruno...or if you'd see Bruno alive ever again."

"I'd be really upset and worried." He hugged Bruno tight. "I'd probably cry too."

"Your mom did, among other things. When you're upset, you do things you might not otherwise. Your mom did yell... _not_ because she felt like being mean to the elephant, but because she was worried the elephant was going to hurt _you_. Uncle Ben made up for it all in the end, though. He really did end up saving you."

"Well, that's-"

"I thought I might find you two out here," Nathan said as he walked towards them.

"Daddy, when did you get back?" Miles asked.

"About five minutes ago. Are you two having fun?"

"Yeah, Lucas was telling more about the wedding." He paused and turned back to Lucas. "Except was it a kangaroo or a zebra?"

Nathan's brow furrowed. "Funny, I thought it was a bear."

Miles stood and put a hand to his head. "I give up," he said as he started towards the house. "Grown-ups are too confusing!"

 **A/N: Because this challenge had a maximum word count of eight thousand words, I had to cut out a few ideas for this story. So please note it's complete for now, but I will add an eventual epilogue once the judging is over. Stay tuned, and thank you for reading.**


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